I am pining for autumn. Everything about it feels so close but yet so unattainable, as if God himself packaged it away in saran wrap to save for later.

Autumn means I’ll have you again. This infernal air will cool to a slow sigh, crisp and intentional. Everything, even the way leaves flutter to the ground, feels purposeful. The whole earth inhales, holds its breath, and lets off steam. I think we could all learn a lot from autumn. Especially how to breathe deeply.

I feel okay today, but something’s still messing with my gravity. I can’t locate the center of it. Rise and shine, greets the ground to my feet as they hit the asphalt each morning. But every step is laced with a feeling that all of this might be meaningless. It’s vertigo of reality. I’m so stuck in the rhythm of the world and all I can think about is how terrible it is to not be able to escape the sound of everyone else’s feet marching along with mine.

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