IN MEMORY OF DREAMS

in loving memory of those we lost on April 16, 2007. may our Hokies live on forever.

I.
and the feet that once walked the same paths mine do.
2.
back when the sixteenth of april was just monday,
3.
we never had to consider roses or candlelight vigils.
4.
we didn’t have to.
5.
time had not yet fallen from innocence,
6.
still unplucked fruit ripening on the branch
7.
because things like that don’t happen in a place like this
8.
or at least that’s what everyone thought
9.
until the things like that happened on this very ground
10.
which all of a sudden did not feel solid anymore
11.
and the whole world watched that morning
12.
melt into mourning, into itself,
13.
leaving no words behind
12.
in all of that lacking.
13.
the most honest tragedy of this
14.
was not even the sight of blood
15.
but the anxious mother at the other end of the call
16.
waiting on words to make sense of silence.
17.
it is hard enough to watch your child leave
18.
for something like college, I know.
19.
I saw my mother cry when I packed up my room.
20.
but how do you reconcile that hurt
21.
with the hurt of these mothers:
22.
see you Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter
23.
but all of a sudden there were no more days
24.
much less holidays. no coming back home.
25.
how do you learn to set 4 places at the table
26.
instead of 5, how do you memorize the art
27.
of smiling at stories of other people
28.
living out their dreams, knowing full well
29.
that these thirty-two
30.
never got to wake up from theirs?
31.
every day I wake up here
32
I realize how much that matters.

escapril day 16: any dreams?

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