Monthly Archives: November 2018

from AN ODE TO MY EIGHTEENTH YEAR Tonight is the eve of my 19th birthday. All 4 of my college friends surround me, sprawled about on the floor of a perpetually humid dorm room. Someone’s ordered two giant boxes of the best pizza in town and we have enough room in our stomachs to finish both.Continue reading “13/12: NINETEEN YEARS”

from AN ODE TO MY EIGHTEENTH YEAR It is hard for me to write about this month without hiding the details, wrapping them up in plastic containers like leftover food at a fancy restaurant far too expensive to be wasted. Details that will probably just take up space in the refrigerator of your mind and eventuallyContinue reading “12/12: October 2018”

from AN ODE TO MY EIGHTEENTH YEAR Everything here is music. The way the washing machine hums two hours past midnight when I am sorting darks and lights, jeans and delicates crumpled up and alone with piles of dirty laundry and memories of my mother teaching me how. I have learned to sing along, though,Continue reading “11/12: September 2018”

from AN ODE TO MY EIGHTEENTH YEAR Usually, I am a good packer. I can pack for any occasion. For the beach: a swimsuit, a dog-eared paperback novel, a towel and a bottle of SPF 30. An easy checklist. I knew exactly what I needed to brave the sun. But for a new life? ForContinue reading “10/12: August 2018”

from AN ODE TO MY EIGHTEENTH YEAR Cling to me and we will stop time. I am sure of it. This is the remedy: you hold me close and I will tether the clock’s minute hand around my fingers, stretching it until it is a worm wiggling itself into the spaces. And just like that, onceContinue reading “9/12: July 2018”

from AN ODE TO MY EIGHTEENTH YEAR Was it supposed to be sad? This constant spewing of goodbyes: to the hallways that held my spirit hostage, to the halfway-friends already forgotten, the sticky adolescent trauma of firsts and lasts? I couldn’t feel it. All I could feel was relief. Relief as I dressed myself inContinue reading “8/12: June 2018”

from AN ODE TO MY EIGHTEENTH YEAR I am electric again. And when I mean electric, I mean when you kissed me on prom night I felt the circuits in my lungs spark and I swore I could survive underwater for decades. And when I mean electric, I mean dancing felt more natural than standing still.Continue reading “7/12: May 2018”

from AN ODE TO MY EIGHTEENTH YEAR Sometimes I LOVE YOU only lasts fifteen days. Until he is reminded of what made him leave the first time, remembering the difficulty of loving a girl with a fire alarm heart. And sometimes you bleed all over again, scar tissue torn open after seasons of healing. This willContinue reading “6/12: April 2018”

from AN ODE TO MY EIGHTEENTH YEAR I am a girl made of rejection letters. Might as well brand We regret to inform you on the slope of my forehead, Unable to offer you admission across my knuckles, around my pinky finger, wind it tightly– a rubber band ready to snap. Inject competitive pool into theContinue reading “5/12: March 2018”

from AN ODE TO MY EIGHTEENTH YEAR  This is the month I learn a few things. One. God, it feels so good to forgive. Spines are only capable of supporting so much weight before you have no choice but to rest them. This is the way I rest mine: I forgive myself. I absolve my heartContinue reading “4/12: February 2018”