after Jack Kerouac
The persistent threat of nuclear war
between heart and brain.
I was never taught to duck
and cover, hands plucking hair electric,
bracing for the bloodbath spray,
tragic rapture of the living.
I have only known the plasma sweet
release of violence.
Accept loss forever, let those bombs
burn you solid.
Memorize carnage, speak it,
Cold War child.
Blue aching amygdala, your neurotransmitters
are but trembling soldiers, and you
are everything peace has long ago
erased from memory.